Why Pursuing Happiness as a Goal is Unrealistic

The pursuit of happiness is a common goal for many individuals, but according to mental health coaching, it is not a realistic goal. In the Guiding Mind podcast episode, it is discussed how emotions are designed to be ephemeral and why it is important to embrace all emotions, including the negative ones. Here's why pursuing happiness as a goal is unrealistic:

Emotions are Temporary

Emotions are not meant to be permanent fixtures in our lives. Instead, they are designed to come and go based on circumstances, engagement level, and past experiences. There are five primary emotions - happiness, sadness, anger, fear, and disgust - and they are all meant to be temporary.

Suppressed Emotions can Lead to Negative Outcomes

When individuals suppress their emotions, they can build up and turn into the worst versions of themselves. For instance, suppressing happiness can turn into mania, while suppressing sadness can turn into depression. Anger can turn into rage and resentment, and disgust can turn into guilt and shame.

More Moments of Happiness are Possible

Although being perpetually happy is not possible, it is possible to have more moments of happiness than moments of other emotions. It is important to allow individuals to feel their emotions fully and not try to suppress them.

Individuals can Control their Emotional Reactions

Individuals have little control over many things in their lives, such as war, the stock market, illness, and death. However, individuals can control their emotional reactions to these events and work to let go of negative emotions from their past.

Voluntary Intention is Key to Letting Go of Negative Emotions

The key to letting go of negative emotions is voluntary intention. This means making a conscious decision to face difficult emotions to build resilience and let go of these emotions for good. Individuals can go through this process with the help of a therapist or on their own through meditation, journaling, or prayer. Creating a safe space to process emotions and giving oneself permission to feel all emotions is important.

Facing Negative Emotions is Important for Healing and Growth

It is important to face negative emotions voluntarily to heal and grow. When individuals suppress their negative emotions, they only prolong their suffering. Identifying negative emotions and exploring where they come from can help individuals release them and move forward.

Self-Care is Essential During the Process

Self-care is important during this process. Taking time to do things that bring joy and balance to individuals' lives as they work through their negative emotions is suggested.

Conclusion

In conclusion, the pursuit of perpetual happiness is not realistic. Emotions are designed to be temporary, and individuals should embrace all emotions, including the negative ones. By facing negative emotions voluntarily, individuals can build resilience and let go of these emotions for good. This process can be done with the help of a coach or on one's own through meditation, journaling, or prayer. It is important to create a safe space to process emotions and give oneself permission to feel all emotions. Through this process, individuals can move forward and experience more moments of happiness in their lives.