Embracing Masculinity: Navigating the Complexity of Being a Man in Today's Society

The concept of masculinity and what it means to be a man in today's society is a topic shrouded in complexity. While the answer may have seemed relatively simple in the not-so-distant past, the evolving social landscape has brought forth a myriad of perspectives and challenges. In the past, societal expectations for men revolved around being providers, stoic, strong, and driven to achieve tangible accomplishments. However, as the barriers around traditional gender roles are being dismantled, it has created both opportunities and confusion.

The Narrow Path of Manhood

In earlier decades, the path to manhood was rigid and narrowly defined. Men were expected to secure a job, work tirelessly to achieve success, and fulfill the role of provider for their families. Stoicism was highly valued, often associated with emotional restraint and control. While this limited definition of manhood restricted personal growth and emotional expression, it offered a clear roadmap for societal acceptance.

Removing Barriers: An Era of Confusion

As society progresses, the removal of these restrictive barriers can be seen as a positive change. It allows men to explore deeper connections with themselves, their families, and break free from the sole pursuit of monetary accomplishment. However, the abundance of newfound choices and conflicting messages has left many young men grappling with confusion. Society presents numerous ways to define and redefine masculinity, while also warning against its darker manifestations.

The Danger of Abandoning Masculinity

Some argue that embracing masculinity is too risky, as it can lead to negative traits such as control, arrogance, distrust, and violence. They encourage men to abandon traditional masculine traits and lean into more feminine qualities, rejecting the notion of a distinct male identity. However, what they fail to realize is that abandoning the sword of masculinity results in losing essential components of oneself—the drive for pursuit, the need for structure, the sense of action, and the satisfaction of accomplishment.

The Irony of Rejecting Masculinity

Paradoxically, those promoting the abandonment of masculinity often reject men who choose this path, perceiving them as weak. Men who forsake their masculine identity find themselves anxious and depressed, as they deny crucial aspects of their being. The irony lies in the fact that those urging men to reject masculinity end up rejecting them in turn. This double-edged sword leaves men without a true sense of self and without the desired connection with others.

Flawed Expressions of Masculinity

In the midst of this confusion, various expressions of masculinity emerge, each with its own flaws. One such expression involves completely discarding masculinity, denying its positive aspects. Another distorted version uses masculinity as a tool for dominance and control, skewing the balance between genders. Figures like Andrew Tate exemplify this by twisting the notion of protection into ownership and servitude. These flawed expressions fail to recognize that service and strength should be voluntary and mutually given in healthy relationships.

The involuntary celibate (incel) community represents a defeated form of masculinity, born out of social isolation and a lack of success in relationships. These men, feeling rejected and pained, often fall into destructive patterns. However, the fragmented online communities they join offer little solace or healing. Instead of finding support and genuine connections, they spiral further into despair, exacerbating their own pain.

In extreme cases, the corrupted versions of masculinity can lead to domestic violence or, tragically, mass shootings. Men overwhelmed by their pain and darkness direct their aggression outward, causing harm to others and themselves. These individuals are driven to inflict pain as a response to the cruelty they perceive in the world. It serves as a chilling reminder of the potential consequences when masculinity becomes distorted and detached from its positive aspects.

Embracing a Positive Masculinity

Amidst the confusion and pitfalls, there is a path forward—one that embraces a positive form of masculinity. Rather than abandoning masculinity or using it to harm, men can wield the sword of masculinity with purpose. It involves honing masculine traits, such as action, structure, pursuit, and accomplishment, towards positive ends. This path requires introspection, self-improvement, and a commitment to personal growth. By aligning their actions with higher purposes and sharing their journey with others, men can embody a balanced and fulfilling masculinity.

The question of what it means to be a man in today's society is nuanced and personal. Each individual must undertake the journey of self-discovery, honing their unique blend of masculine and feminine traits. Embracing masculinity involves rejecting harmful expressions while harnessing the positive aspects that allow for personal growth, emotional strength, and the creation of a supportive community. Ultimately, it is through this process of self-discovery and growth that men can find fulfillment, purpose, and meaningful connections in the modern world.